Talking packages

From today's New York Times article about contemporary product packaging:

Some companies are studying technology to put a computer chip and tiny speaker inside a package. This idea might be particularly useful for big companies like Unilever that want to cross-promote their various brands. So a package of cheese could say “I go well with Triscuit crackers” when a shopper takes it off the shelf.

Here's an image for you: me picking up a package of cheese, the package saying that to me, and me flinging that package as far down the aisle as I can throw.

From today's New York Times article about contemporary product packaging:

Some companies are studying technology to put a computer chip and tiny speaker inside a package. This idea might be particularly useful for big companies like Unilever that want to cross-promote their various brands. So a package of cheese could say “I go well with Triscuit crackers” when a shopper takes it off the shelf.

Here's an image for you: me picking up a package of cheese, the package saying that to me, and me flinging that package as far down the aisle as I can throw.

My inclination would be to ask the package where the Triscuits are located, and if I get no answer then I would fling it.

Imagine a bottle of wine with the same vocal "information" in it. You'd get into trouble breaking all that glass in the store...

From today's New York Times article about contemporary product packaging:

Some companies are studying technology to put a computer chip and tiny speaker inside a package. This idea might be particularly useful for big companies like Unilever that want to cross-promote their various brands. So a package of cheese could say “I go well with Triscuit crackers” when a shopper takes it off the shelf.

Here's an image for you: me picking up a package of cheese, the package saying that to me, and me flinging that package as far down the aisle as I can throw.

Another image: What the package of cheese would look like after being repeatedly stomped in the middle of the aisle.

From today's New York Times article about contemporary product packaging:

Some companies are studying technology to put a computer chip and tiny speaker inside a package. This idea might be particularly useful for big companies like Unilever that want to cross-promote their various brands. So a package of cheese could say “I go well with Triscuit crackers” when a shopper takes it off the shelf.

Here's an image for you: me picking up a package of cheese, the package saying that to me, and me flinging that package as far down the aisle as I can throw.

I could not agree more with the sentiment, Stuart. But, wouldn't you want to get more than three feet from it?

Were you aware that I was on the US Olympic Cheese-Tossing team? Got a Bronze in the '72 games. If it hadn't been for that unfortunate incident with Cathy Rigby...

[Jenise]

Another image: What the package of cheese would look like after being repeatedly stomped in the middle of the aisle.

...while exhorting, in the manner of evangelicals, "Cheez-us, oh cheez-us!"

[David M. Bueker]

I have enough of an issue with the stupid automatic check outs blabbering on and on and on and on and on and on...

Thank you for using your Stop & Shop Card.

Your Stop & Shop Card has been accepted.

Ok, why did you thank me for using the card before you decided that it was acceptable??? Stupid $%%ing machine. Where's my gun?

The bagging area is full.

No kidding. I am buying groceries. Now if I can find something other than these dinky half-size paper bags I will bag some of my groceries.

Maybe the cheese can tell me where they put the bags.

And what if it turns out to be a wildly successful marketing technique? What then?

Yeah, yeah, yeah...but put in a sultry voice offering an...interesting...alternative use of the product, and you'd be more receptive.

FYI, several years ago my company looked at a system where a customer walking through an aisle would stop and linger in a given area for more than a few seconds (supposedly looking at that shelf area) and a sensor would trigger a voice with a given sales pitch for that item. We passed.

[David M. Bueker]

And what if it turns out to be a wildly successful marketing technique? What then?

I go on a hunger strike.

And what if it turns out to be a wildly successful marketing technique? What then?

There will be a lot of thrown cheese. And I'll be a Luddite folk hero.

I move so quickly in a supermarket the babbling bastards wouldn't get a word in edgewise.

...and there is always the iPod and headset.

Perhaps these things can be hacked?

"Psst! Hey buddy! You wanna eat synthetic industrial crap, go ahead and put me in your basket. I suck, but I do provide plenty of fat and calories in a small package which will increase your girth at a low price. 'Course, if you want something that doesn't taste like it came from a refinery, get the hell out of this store and over to the cheese shop down the street."

Or at Starbuck's:

"You know that the cafe down the street makes better espresso and won't make you feel like a moron by requiring that you use cute and meaningless terms to order your coffee?"

Perhaps these things can be hacked?

"Psst! Hey buddy! You wanna eat synthetic industrial crap, go ahead and put me in your basket. I suck, but I do provide plenty of fat and calories in a small package which will increase your girth at a low price. 'Course, if you want something that doesn't taste like it came from a refinery, get the hell out of this store and over to the cheese shop down the street."

Or at Starbuck's:

"You know that the cafe down the street makes better espresso and won't make you feel like a moron by requiring that you use cute and meaningless terms to order your coffee?"

Funny Mike, on my way to get my mail I had the same thoughts about hacking. Now I think the idea is a good one--it would serve the marketers right! I might even learn how to hack.

Perhaps these things can be hacked?

"Psst! Hey buddy! You wanna eat synthetic industrial crap, go ahead and put me in your basket. I suck, but I do provide plenty of fat and calories in a small package which will increase your girth at a low price. 'Course, if you want something that doesn't taste like it came from a refinery, get the hell out of this store and over to the cheese shop down the street."

Or at Starbuck's:

"You know that the cafe down the street makes better espresso and won't make you feel like a moron by requiring that you use cute and meaningless terms to order your coffee?"

Funny Mike, on my way to get my mail I had the same thoughts about hacking. Now I think the idea is a good one--it would serve the marketers right! I might even learn how to hack.

(Pssst. Don't worry I got your connection. My older son was the first person arrested for hacking in the state of Tennessee - when he was 15. They weren't really sure what to prosecute him for since they weren't sure what he'd done exactly. He hacked into a Mississippi bank's computer - just to see if he could do it. Didn't do a damn thing while he was there. Which was why they gave him probation and told him not to do whatever it was he had done again.)

Speaking of cheese, recently, one of my sons in Iraq had some free time on his hands and won the Tag Team 10 can Cheese Whiz Challenge.

This means that the terrorists have won.

This means that the terrorists have won.

Hmmmm. Makes me wonder what the other side does with their free time. Bean Whiz perhaps? Hummus in an aerosol can? The package could talk to you before opening and the contents talk to you after consumption.

Were you aware that I was on the US Olympic Cheese-Tossing team? Got a Bronze in the '72 games. If it hadn't been for that unfortunate incident with Cathy Rigby...

Was her NFL playing husband to be around?

Were you aware that I was on the US Olympic Cheese-Tossing team? Got a Bronze in the '72 games. If it hadn't been for that unfortunate incident with Cathy Rigby...

Ah,yes, I remeber the incident well. Very sad.

Had she not mistaken the Bleu D'Auvergne you were slated to toss in the finals for Stayfree...

I still have scars from that one.

...while exhorting, in the manner of evangelicals, "Cheez-us, oh cheez-us!"

Which prompts me to trot out that old chestnut - You know what they call the franchise cheese shops in Palestine don't you?

Cheeses of Nazareth.....